Christmas re-education camp

As feared, as predicted; three years of hits and memories have damaged my ability to write music. Three years is longer than most bands last in total. It’s enough time that synapses can burn out by repeated robotic renditions of Dead Eyes Opened. Hell, maybe my entire cerebral music centre is gone.

It’s not that I can’t make music. I’m just making things with all the presence of an IKEA chair or the seventh disc of a Prince album. After a while it gets pretty easy to adjust the panning and velocity level on the alternate closed hats. Splurt – here’s some more music for the sonic landfill.

I wondered why bands went into decline. The cause is now obvious – once you are successful at something you are required to repeat it ad-nauseum, which kills off the ability to do anything else. The treatment is to (a) just keep doing that forever – the European cure, or (b) become an academic – the Anglo cure, or (c) punch through the block and somehow reach a new level – which is most often about as effective as herbal remedies. Myself, exhibit A. Which is why I’m suffering (b) for the while, and feeling pretty down about it.

It was fun to play in Belgium (so long as you ignore 60 odd hours of air travel in one week). The people love their scene and they age gracefully – look at Front 242, who have kept their vim and vigour despite looking like some kid’s embarrassing dads. And if we looked like two old guys sitting at a bar eating peanuts, well we always looked like that. But you have to wise up and ask how long it’s possible to keep the museum travelling.

Chatting with Suicide Commando, they have gigs lined up back and forth over Europe, cities all in a row with crowds ready to punch the air. We have nothing like that in Australia; a population of 22m is condensed into the east coast and a tour can last a week before you’re all fished out. But even if we had a European population there comes a time when your audience has arthritis of the air punching arms and what then? I am jealous of our European friends but fear for their retirement years.

No, I’m not part of that EBM scene. Nor am I in with the monome-arduino-blip-twiddlers that are the arse end of the post digital movement. (Actually, the whole post digital movement – have you gone back and listened to any of that recently? Isn’t the whole glitch/micro-sound thing as embarrassing as DX-7 horns? Jesus that stuff was a tepid gruel propped up by vacuous talk and The Goethe Institute).

Similar guru to one described. Contents may vary.

This all gets very depressing, but here on Christmas Day hope comes from an unexpected quarter. I usually read Create Digital Music just make myself angry enough to get out of bed. It’s the epicentre of smug and twiddlers and I can usually rely on at least one fatuous young thing prating about how they just discovered both ears. But recently they covered Mannheim Steamroller, that cheese pump of Christmas schmaltz and damn it the guy sounds like he’s completely aligned in his own universe. Or as Bradbury would say – he is utterly what he is. That doesn’t mean that I am inspired to get into Christmas jingles. It means by age 65 I would also like to be entirely comfortable making whatever the hell I want despite being told it doesn’t fit with the expectations of the marketplace. I’d like to free from (a)(b)(c)’s, scenes and the baggage that holds you, me and everyone else down.

Instead of being preoccupied by how I can’t seem to align with anything around me, I need to be more like Saint Chip, to follow my own inner dag. To wear the grin and beard of a man that gives not a fuck about what is cool this week. This sounds like an attitude adjustment, easy to prescribe but hard to achieve without the right community and dammit that’s exactly what is going to happen. Who else will follow Chip Davis to freedom from the confines of good taste?

Blah blah blah.

Blah blah blah blah iPad blah blah blah blah Apple blah blah blah Flash blah blahblah Adobe blah blah iPad blah blah blah iPad blah blah iPhone blah blah blah the cloud blah. Blah blah Apple blah blah web 2.0. blah blah blah iPad? I think that blah blah blah blah blah blah Newton blah blah Microsoft blah blahblah blah iPad blah blah Amazon. Blah blah Google blah blah iPad. Blah blah Twitter.

ipad

Blah blah iPad blah blah Apple blah blah Steve Jobs blah blahblah blah.

What do you think?


Comments.

1. First!

2. GLOBAL WARMING blah blah blah OBAMAFASCISTS blah blah blah blah blah blah!!!!1 Blah blah blah blah blah DAMN COLD blah blah blah blah blah blah blah “SCIENCE” blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah TAX GOUGE blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. PALIN 2012!!!1

3. Blah!

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5. Blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah fanboi blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah Linux blah blah blah blah blah FREE blah blah blah blahblah blah blah closed blah blahblah. Blah blah blah blah sheeple blah blah blah blah M$ blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

6. You people are all idoits.

7. Blah blah blah blah blah this blog sucks shit blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah more of your old music. A FAN.

8. LOL @ blah

9. There should be a comma after ‘blah’ in the first sentence it would make your writing far more intelligible.

10. Blah blahblah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah WWW.LOOSECHANGE.ORG

11. You think you blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. But you have neglected blah blahblah blah blahblah blah fiscal blah blah blah blah blah. In my PhD I blah blah blah “blahblahblahblah” blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah asserts that blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah. Really you show your ignorance.

12. I LIKE TITS.

Who cares if you listen?

Damn, I didn’t write that title. It was Milton Babbitt in 1958. But, Milton old bean, I am on your side. You and I, arrogant arseholes, who conjure up Godwin as soon as we hit the room.

Hey I just burned discs of the DVD, the CD, the transcripts of the MD & the 8 track. They’re in their carry case ready for my supervisor tomorrow. They don’t suck, although they are not going to appeal to a wide audience. Just so long as two people love them. Just two people in the whole world, please love my work.

I feel on track. I can write some more bullshit here. It soothes me and you don’t have to listen.

I love how some philosophers think that popular culture is a pony that they can ride. Pop culture is a blob that just keeps rolling down a hill with some educated ninny or other ‘in the saddle’, scribbling their latest paper on Paris Hilton’s botox or Bling Culture or Texmex YouTube Skate Videos. They feel like the ride is A Challenge with which they can Break Through Existing Conceptions of Mass Culture. As it flops down that hill, it descends into an ever congealing cloud of airborne vomit. The researcher holds their nose as long as they can, but finally reaches a point where even they can’t find a damn shred of intellectual worth in Poodle Lipstick, and off they leap. And then on leaps another, emboldened by the fact that PhD topics are running out fast.

Each rider can then live out their twilight years as an associate professor of something, having passed the rite of Pop Culture.

You know, there’s some things in the world that while popular are completely worthless. You’re among friends here. You can admit it. No one is going to dob you in. I’ll start. Opera. Opera was always trash. Fodder for the masses back then, and now through some process of mummification it attracts genteel people with no taste and large scale government funding. Magic Flute my arse. Red faced people in frock coats bellowing piffle. Who called it Geriatric Punk?

And on the other side of the coin, I think commercial Hip Hop is as culturally significant as eating McDonald’s hamburgers. They’re both mass market manufactured ‘youth’ activities and values. Pepsi Music. If you’re going to make a curriculum out of one then why not the other? Oh, and Graffiti Art. Isn’t.

Right then. Offended everyone? Jolly.

Now why do people pretend to like things that they know are complete offal? I can recall an occasion back in the 70′s when (if memory serves) my brother decided to inform my old man about the just released Sex Pistols album by jamming headphones onto the latter’s head. Conflicting emotions were seen passing his face that finally settled on Desire To Escape This Shit > Desire To Indulge Offspring. Notably these two factors took some seconds to resolve. Other case studies:

Desire To Have Sex > Desire To Escape Tedious Romantic Comedy

Desire To Please Small Offspring > Fear Of Clowns

Alcoholic Stupor > Led Zeppelin Cover Band

Do I need go on? (I already have).

There’s a PhD in this for sure. Just not for me.

Thank you for the continuing death threats, insults and emails that make no sense no matter how many times I try reading them. I appreciate the effort that goes into them.