WE HAD FAIL

Update installed!

UPDATE ON FAIL – MOST FAIL IS SCOOPED UP – CEASE LAMENTING

Update: pulling all the entries back out of the WP database succeeded and so we are now good to go. I’ll have to refind some images. No major drama.

Unfortunately something spinning at a great speed decided to collide with itself and send data into the multiverse. This took down both tomellard.com and sevcom.com for a short while. All of the static pages were back again later that morning Australian time. Unfortunately both the blogs have some structural damage that is more tricky to figure out. The articles are intact in the database – I can see them all. But the published structure is messed up and links don’t work and all that jazz. It’s going to take a bit of time to rebuild this one.

But the scanning goes on!

YouTube can kiss my ass. UPDATE: Who the hell are IODA?

Dear TomEllard,

Your video, Dead Eyes Opened Sydney January 2010, may have content that is owned or licensed by IODA.

No action is required on your part; however, if you’re interested in learning how this affects your video, please visit the Content ID Matches section of your account for more information.

Sincerely,
- The YouTube Team

 

Dear YouTube.

The composer of the music, the recording artist, the maker of the video and the person that posted it ARE OBVIOUSLY THE SAME PERSON.

You idiots.

You have a million people uploading shit they stole from where ever. So instead, you send out a pissy insulting form letter to somebody that contributes their own work. A form letter that offers 4 tiny boxes where I am allowed to reply that hey, I have no idea who IODA is, why they should be able to do this, what it has to do with the fact I am promoting my own goddamn work on your site.

And it’s the SECOND time you’ve done this. You haven’t even dealt with my first dispute yet.

I am going to try walking and calming down, but the temptation is to go somewhere else because hey, you really are the exact opposite of everything worthwhile.

Tom Ellard, a person that makes shit that you monetize.

UPDATE:

Through my own efforts I find that IODA is a US based distributor of my music. They have a non exclusive sub-license, which is kind of like having a franchise in that territory. It doesn’t give them any exclusive rights – certainly they don’t own the synchronization rights of my music, and that’s exactly what YouTube’s automated system can’t understand. It’s twigged a match between the soundtrack of these videos and their licensed material. Being automated it starts a process which is inflexible and stupid to any nuances in the situation.

Somebody at IODA has countered my claim that they don’t own my videos: at least that’s the probable reason why the dispute robot has rejected my disputation. But no one has actually emailed another person to ask, hey is this TomEllard account ‘official’?

It is (as always) up to the artist to start fixing the mess that the companies have created ‘on their behalf’. This begins with human communication; I have started that. It involves pressure; I have damaged the videos on YouTube with an annotation and an audio swap. This may help the companies involved to feel a small amount of monetary and PR displeasure, the only sensation that they can feel. I have provided an alternative venue on Vimeo. I always wanted to do that, so this is as good a time as ever.

As soon as somebody notices that their robots have screwed up, I will be happy to put things back as they were. In the meanwhile they can ‘own’ a web page that explains just how dumb they are.

ADMIN speaks to you

ADMIN here, with some updates.

  • Finally updated Cutline theme to 1.4. and fixed the widget support so we have some custom layout.
  • Thus, recent comments are listed with links to your own WordPress blogs if any.
  • Also a tag cloud so you can see what a moaning old shit tte really is.
  • Removed dead blogroll links and added some updates.

Upcoming changes to www.tomellard.com; we are going to update, removing old TABLEs and chairs. There will be occasional odd moments throughout January.

{www.sevcom.com is not going to upgrade because a thousand whining geriatrics will have heart attacks if anything changes ever.}

Currently not able to update, or read mail.

Well somebody thought the last post wasn’t funny.

Due to a suicide pact between two machines here and something going on in Seattle I currently cannot log in to my sites, nor can I read mail sent to me at sevcom.com

If you really need to contact me please use Ozemail or (if you really have to) UNSW Mail.

Put a penny in the slot and the gas is back on. Hot showers!

Sevcom closes CD shop.

Advert: the Live To Air is happening.

It’s been a ride. Since 1998 sevcom has sold CDs online. We were one of the first – a raggedy thing run on slave labour and Stephen M Jones’ idealism. If ever Stephen or myself were to look at the numbers it would have been shut down years ago. But we did it anyway.

13 years later I’m beaten. Done in. Worn out.

We started when blank CDs reached 11 AUD dollars each. A sale of 12 USD meant we made around 2 dollars after postage. That margin grew and I was able to buy a few more burners and try out some fun stuff like transparent film and metal cases. It paid a bit better than a gig but thank God for my day job. Sometimes I pretended I wasn’t subsidising it. Those damn metal cases…

While CDs got cheaper the postage, paper and ink have steadily increased. In recent years a blank disc was around 50c, but the postage on each disc ended up about $5-6. That was OK while the exchange rate was about 60c US for 1 AUD but as the US started to slip into oblivion people bought less and expected to pay a lot less for it. Europe too has little time for music while staving off economic collapse. The final straw was Homeland Security charging 9 dollars to inspect packages. (USA: Plenty of money for weapons, no money for wages.)

And I don’t have the time any more to make these things. The time it takes to make a batch of discs is not viable as my treadmill of bills and debts get faster.

The number of online stores is cancerous and they are locked in a price war that we cannot beat. So we join. BandCamp is alright; it’s not independence, but that was lost a long time ago. Just join the rest. Move along citizen.

I like CDs. Uncompressed sound and a pretty cover. But we are becoming too poor to own real things. I say again – the 20th century was about creating cheap mass produced goods for all. The theme of the 21st century will be the divide between the physical rich and the virtual poor – bespoke items for the wealthy (vinyl in boxes!) MP3s and ePub books for you. A window for them and a screen saver for you. We fought it, but the law won.

If you want any physical items from me, you had best do it soon. I am not making any more and have a small inventory.

I’d like to thank all the people that put up with my lousy service, slow delivery, bent metal boxes, CAT HAIRS!!!1!! and packages that went missing. We were never Amazon.

Oh and ‘Jesus’ – the guy that ordered everything and then reversed the credit card as soon as they arrived, fuck you. A big fuck off also to all the MP3 blogs that uploaded my stuff. You talk like revolutionaries, but you are actually the traitors.

Twisted history

ADVERTISEMENT : Apparently we may perform on radio station FBI on the 28th April around 9pm or so AEST. This is not confirmed. If so, they have a live stream on their web site. While I have your attention, can I just clarify that we will NOT PLAY AGAIN AFTER THE DATES ANNOUNCED. Anyone asks me about this I will be cross.

It was good to catch up with an old friend the other night, now with wife and 4 year old son. The man (nameless for reasons you’ll soon understand) is living in the USA deeply embedded in the infrastructure of finance, networks and databases that know more about you than you probably know yourself.

But we were talking about cowboy days, late 80s; the BBS scene, hackers and crackers and the other side. We’d met on Twisted Pair, the BBS that spawned Twister, Twister 2, and all the daughters up to the ill fated Twister 5, the collapse of which led to this one way blog. I don’t think it’ll hurt to tell that Twisted Pair had a secret area, in which select people had their fun. Back then it was all Amiga, and I was a lamer HEX hacker, somebody who searched through the hexadecimal of software looking for combinations of numbers that did some thing useful.

The most useful hack I did was the very first version of Lightwave 3D running in PAL. It was part of the video toaster which was NTSC only and so I guess NewTek thought it pointless making it work in European countries. But they coded it so all I did was find the sections that addressed the display memory, redid the maths, and fired it up until all the bits worked. Like I said, nothing fancy, but much appreciated at the time. If you were around you might have seen a ‘booped’ version. Yes, like:

Actually just now I remember I did the same thing for the first Photon Paint but Deluxe Paint was beyond me. Bloody EA had hard wired it all.

We talked about where people had gone and their conversion to honesty. Most of them I only knew by their screen names. Watching his son playing games on a phone we were worried about what our generation had done – our children are looking through a screen at everything, although I think they will rebel and as teenagers go about smashing computers and shaking real hands. Good for them.

I had to tell him what happened to Twister; a mailing list which was rather good, but eventually a phpBBS which sucked rather badly. I told him there was even a splinter called ‘Exiles’ and he thought that was hilarious. BBS community was dead by then, and the forces that broke it are still getting worse; anonymity, envy, celebrity, “friend” counts and the sale of privacy. It probably has to hit bottom before it bounces back.

Nostalgia is anti-historical, it denies events to make a privileged viewpoint. That night we talked about chiggers the way others talk about vinyl, with just as much surety. Everyone thinks they are recalling something authentic when the exact opposite is true.

Right now, I can’t wait to get away from music. Much more interested in chiggers.

Report: New Videos, Shows, Moved Shop, Re-scanning.

My Lords.

On this, the eve of my return to teaching duties, I shall recount my progress over the last few months. You will know that I have many performances looming, and progress has been made such that you shall perhaps not be displeased and eat me.

Four new videos have been made for the shows in May and they may be inspected by Your Lordships by clicking on the large image on the front of this website. You will perhaps notice that all four are high definition and advance upon on old and smelly videos {that will now only be posted on You Tube by the insistent live-in-the-past curs that snap my heels}. These videos can be used not only in May but later in REDACTED. This is economical.

You may also be pleased that I have completed a high definition version of Walrus Guitars which will première in New York on the 8th of March. Until that time it remains hidden. I have also started upon a remake of Starts With K and a new clip for Ghosts Of Lunches, a live version of Gashing The Old Mae West and a clip for Wonder Of All The World, the music for which has been recreated. All are destined for the performance at the Joan in October.

I must admit however, that the text for this performance remains piecemeal and needs to be brought together into a coherent form a.s.a.p. I have some difficulty collecting my thoughts about music.

You have asked why I have joined so many sharing services and threatened that I would be eaten if I did not find a good use for them and fast. Lords, I will use MediaFire to offer much larger image scans, BandCamp for sales and SoundCloud… OK that was a mistake but look, I’ll work on it.

My Lords, I have moved near all our recordings to BandCamp and have reaped some benefit in that we have met two sales thresholds, allowing us to give away promotional copies. It is very likely now that we will soon no longer sell physical objects (apart from the really cool ones) and this will allow me more time!

Time I will need, Your Highnesses, as my thesis has entered a Twilight Zone, where I know what I need to do next but have some struggle to do it. I need now to make an inventory of all Australian VJs and I am going to. I am.

I will not offend you with excuses, but you should know that my employers are very pleased with my work, so much that they would like me to do much more of it. They found me particularly endearing as a cuddly mascot of the Annual Show, and have put forward that I should run it. At the same time as my concert. And my thesis examination. Lords, I will try my best but I fear the path is fraught with peril.

I also admit I haven’t fixed the sink yet. I did get all the parts.

World’s least interesting blog entry.

Somebody tried to mail something to me that completely rooted the sevcom server in Texas.

If you sent me a mail in the last day or so, you’ll need to send it again because I had to Baygon the mail.

Unless you are the person that sent the thing that rooted the server. Please do not send that again. Thank you.

Now for a picture taken from my house during the dust storm because that is topical and news worthy.

Hello

‘sapnin

I would love to tell you what is going on. But then I’d have to kill you. And I’d have to travel around to people’s houses to do that and it’s Sunday night so I’d rather stay in. Mind you, I could arrange for people to come here so I could kill them which would be more convenient. But then I’d probably have to wait around for people to show up. And I’d go out and come back and find a note CAME AROUND FOR YOU TO KILL ME BUT YOU WEREN’T IN. So really it’s best if I keep on being mysterious about WHAT IS GOING ON.

Actually the funny thing is the closer I get to being able to say, “Yes, OK I know what is going to happen and I can announce it now”, the more likely that it will cause a sudden plot twist where the spy woman that I thought was shadowing me is actually a male relative who is running away from aliens or something like that. But not as interesting.

You see, last week I thought that January wasn’t going to happen. Because I hadn’t heard anything for a while and I went to the website of the organisers and there was nothing listed so I thought, well that’s yet another disappointing life experience, shall I become an alcoholic? No! I will update my web presence instead. And I wrote to the person organising December, who had started last January. Are you following?

But now the person who was organising December hasn’t written back and I suddenly heard that January is on. What’s more if I do January then I can’t do December because somebody would get cross for reasons that I can’t say. Or I’d have to kill you and that’s too much trouble. God I am so grateful that I don’t Twitter, or I’d have to announce nothing several times an hour.

Look maybe it’s better if I say what ISN’T going to happen. Is that OK? Great.

  • I am not adopting an African child, nor is an African child adopting me.
  • You may have heard something about Dolly Parton, it is completely without foundation.
  • Chocolate Clinker biscuits are not coming back onto the market despite being the greatest invention of mankind. I die a little when I accept this.
  • There are NO plans for any new Severed Heads record, tour or TV show.

When I actually have details that won’t disappear the moment I try rely on them, I’ll spill the beans. If I have beans. I don’t have any right at this moment.

09_37_4---Baked-Beans-on-toast_web

Shipping of CDs is a bit late. I will now attempt emotional blackmail … I’m sorry but work is frantic right now. Last Thursday went from 9AM to 9PM, Friday I was busy building a new video production course, Saturday I got to filling orders as well as editing a video for The Interpreter. Today I allocated 1 hour of human contact before getting back to study and … and … birds pecked me. Yes.

Influenza

Couple of setbacks all at once. I have flu. Not breathing too good, things are a bit four dimensional. Don’t think it’s swine flu but if it is, well I deserve it. The nieces can have the computers. Finally got an email about the postgraduate study application, been turned down. No explanation. Think it might be that they want me to reapply for next year. Equally possible that they hope I died. If ever there was an organisation of mystery I swear it’s Brutalist U. Think I might try elsewhere, you know, somewhere where they communicate with you. But maybe it’s the fever, the closer I look at their mail the more it looks like Donald Duck in a Nazi shell factory.

[youtube YroTk6Vobww]

Kind of depressed except that there’s still hope that December is going ahead and even some chance of another even more crazy ritual taking place in January. Hang on to that hope. In the meantime – this stuff. This crazy stuff. It’s all real – not a word did I make up. And I want it all. God, I want it.

Common Knowledge

This application contains information about the common knowledge .Be the first one to get the information about the Common Knowledge.!!

Shake & Bark

Nobody deserves an iPhone app more than your dog. That’s why we’ve created Shake & Bark. All you have to do is take your dog’s picture, record their bark and enter their name. Then, shake your iPhone and listen to it bark. If your dog is the silent type, choose a prerecorded bark. You can also record a ‘talking dog’ message or assign a bark to a photo. However you use it, you’ll have as much fun with Shake & Bark as you do with your furry little friend. Shake it up.
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Dogs rule.

Features:
• Record your dog bark (or choose from three prerecorded barks)
• Assign dog barks to your photos
• See photos of great dogs, rescued from shelters and hear barks
• Shake your phone (or touch the screen) and hear it bark

Knowledge of various matters of death

In this book, the knowledge for protecting the body from the danger of all everyday death is described.
What should you know because it doesn’t die?
How should I do to escape from danger of lurking in all daily lives?
That answer is described in this book.

DevilReverse

Back masking unleashed on you iphone! Reverse anything you have recorded: your voice, a song, noises. You could listen to those hidden words by reverse playing some songs (remember Trick or Treat?, Stairway to Heaven?);

Make the world out of it!
It’s fun and easy.

Discover more, reverse the universe!

Remember!

“Remember!” is an animated handkerchief for your iPhone/iPod touch. Tap the screen to make a knot, tap it again to undo the knot. It couldn’t be easier! Enjoy the smooth animation of the handkerchief knotting and unknotting itself, and let the well-known red badge on the application’s icon remind you of your task later.

Happindex

Price now reduced to 0.99 US.

Happindex is a tool that will allow you to measure your progress towards achieving happiness.

If you have feelings like beatitude, blessedness, bliss, cheer, cheerfulness, cheeriness, content, contentment, delectation, delight, delirium, ecstasy, elation, enchantment, enjoyment, euphoria, exhilaration, exuberance, felicity, gaiety, geniality, gladness, glee, good cheer, good humor, good spirits, hilarity, hopefulness, joviality, joy, jubilation, laughter, lightheartedness, merriment, mirth, optimism, paradise, peace of mind, playfulness, pleasure, prosperity, rejoicing, sanctity, vivacity, well-being or abasement, abjection, abjectness, blahs, bleakness, blue funk, bummer, cheerlessness, dejection, desolation, desperation, despondency, disconsolation, discouragement, dispiritedness, distress, dole, dolefulness, dolor, downheartedness, dreariness, dullness, dumps, ennui, gloom, gloominess, heaviness of heart, heavyheartedness, hopelessness, lowness, melancholia, melancholy, misery, mortification, qualm, sadness, sorrow, the blues, trouble, unhappiness, vapors, woefulness or worry this tool will help you to see what is really affecting your.

You will learn waht are the key factors that rule your life.

BaldnessTest
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When Will I Go Bald? If you are wondering the same question as many other men and women, you have found the right page. This app was designed for you to calculate if and when you will go bald. Just follow instructions in the Baldness Test app.

Call Stephanie

Tired of tapping multiple times to call your friends and family. You need our customized speed dialer. The “Call Stephanie” iPhone application gives you a personalized speed dial right on the main screen. One tap and you are dialing Stephanie. It couldn’t be easier or faster and you can choose any phone number to be dialed.

How Old (Am I)

Have you ever forgotten how old you are?

It seems silly to pull out a calculator and enter your birth year. Even sillier to strain your brain and do the math in your head. That’s where “How Old” comes in. Just launch it and it will remind you.

No fuss, no muss.

Ghost Hunter EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomena) electronically captures sounds of paranormal origin.

Used in over a dozen suspected hauntings, Ghost Hunter EVP holds credibility in recognizing and capturing unidentified sounds. The Historic evidence in favor of Electronic Voice Phenomena runs deep. Multitudes of people throughout history have made recordings that exhibit unexplained phenomena.

Ghost Hunter EVP is specifically designed to capture sounds that might possibly go unheard by the average human ear. This phenomena occasionally is heard when an intelligent being is attempting to communicate with us. This can come through as voice, taps, or other audible disturbances.

We recommend the use of Ghost Hunter EVP for any individual serious about the exploration of paranormal activity.

iLocate – Cheese

****DISCOVER YOUR WORLD, IN A WHOLE NEW WAY – TODAY!****
****SLEEK NEW DESIGN GUARANTEED TO IMPRESS!!!!****

iLocate is a comprehensive searchable database for all the Cheese wherever you are with contact info, directions, and so much more – all at the touch of a button.

There is nothing like finding new Cheese just when you need it. Fortunately, with the new iLocate – Cheese application you can find out where all the Cheese is, where ever you are!

Whether you are on Vacation or right in your own home, there’s always something new on iLocate – Cheese. Get yours today!

FEATURES
• Find all locations closest to you, where ever you are.
• Easily scroll through locations with a smart one per line display.
• One click contact info and directions.
• View by list or by map for easy decision making.

Keywords: cheese, and cheese, cream cheese, cheese recipe, cheese recipes, cheese food, cottage cheese, blue cheese, cheeses, goat cheese, cheddar cheese, baked cheese, cheese calories, cheese pizza, make cheese

RealtyHuntsville

Welcome to Huntsville! My name is Doug Keel and I am a Realtor and Associate Broker with Crye-Leike Realtors in Huntsville, Alabama. As a residential real estate expert I serve buyers and sellers in Huntsville, Madison, Harvest, Meridianville, New Market, Hampton Cove and much of North Alabama. I specialize in inbound relocation and provide services to many buyers and sellers who work at Redstone Arsenal, NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center and Cummings Research Park. This App includes a complete North Alabama MLS Search, community information links to local schools, a subdivision guide, local events and much more.

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Download this Application to call (iPhone only), send an email and search for properties.

Cat Game

It seems like everyone and their cat now owns an iPhone or an iPod touch. But what does the cat do with it?

Cat Game is a free video game for cats, based upon the classic “catch the laser dot” game that cats have enjoyed for ages. Present the game to the cat. Not all cats want to play, so respect the cat. Take care so that neither cat nor device are injured during play.

Features:
- FREE video game for cats
- Humans can play, too! Try to score over 15!

Wizbits

Wizbits is a collection of Bits of Wisdom I have received over the years. Most of these came from my Dad and were originally included in a Book called Wizbits from Dad.

Each one is a short story with a main catch phrase like: “Everybody drives a used car” and the story that went along with it as well as an application to how we can use this wisdom.

Indigo ET
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BowLingual Dog Translator

Ever wonder what your dog might be trying to tell you? BowLingual Dog Translator is a Dog-to-English translator that allows your dog to communicate to you in a way that’s easy for you to understand.

Directions for use:

1. Press the “Translate Bark” button to begin the recording/translation process.
2. Hold the device near your dog as it barks.
3. Once recording is complete, wait a moment for bark analyzation.
4. Your dog’s message is displayed in easy-to-understand English.

GOD HAND

The first of ‘Spirit series’ that TACHYON presents.
It is appearance of the GOD HAND.

【How To Play】

OSU!
There must not be person in surroundings or warn it well.

OSU!
Select right-handed and left-handed beforehand.

OSU!
Grip iPhone/iPod touch firmly!!
And, never separate no matter what it happens!!!

OSU!
Shake iPhone/iPod touch horizontally and quickly according to the chop!!

OSU!
If it is sounded to tear up the atmosphere, it is a success!
Do not blink, and make sure of the result now!!

OSU!
Let’s give honor that leaves the name to the person who achieves the high record!

OSU!
Let’s practice every day and extend the record!!
And, let’s compete with the friend.

※There is no thing that actually strengthens even if it keeps practicing by this application.
Never try by the real thing!!
Even if the injury is owed, I cannot assume all the responsibilities.

This concludes my report.