Disney is killing my soul

A new Disney animated blockbuster. Oh joy, oh bliss.

BIG-HERO

Look at this shit. Look at it. I am going to be looking at it for the next four years. I am going to see slight variations of the characters as drawings, referential plot lines, tacky 3D animations (mostly of the big white blobby guy because he’s a bunch of spheres). It’s set in fucking SanFranTokyo or some other animé hell basket. Every little weeaboo student is going to be pumping this crud out for four years as I slowly crawl in a mental corner and die.

my_other_really_bad_manga_drawing___by_goingtheextramile-d4x8om3

Thankfully just a search for ‘worst anime’.

Because they will come in, and they will say I WANT TO BE A 3D ANIMATOR and MY FAVOURITE FILM IS BY PIXAR and any attempt to wean them off this dream will be met by angry ratemyprofessor feedback and ‘we are not studying enough animation skills’ and ‘why is not every single course at university about how I will work at Pixar someday?’

Because you will never work at Pixar. You will not be listed at the end of a Hollywood animated film any more than you will be president of the fucking united states. And meanwhile the world is a cruel hard place where you might have to get a real job where the fonts on a local government website are the only creative act you get all month. And it is my job to somehow pack you onto the bus and then as soon as the bus is moving tell you that it’s not a choo-choo to dream land.

my_very_bad_art_of_anime_by_hokona-d4edpdd

likewise

You will have to write essays, you will have to solve problems, you will have to draw people so their heads are in proportion to their bodies. I will give you hell because your story idea is unbelievable, tacky and stupid and no one wants to watch your anim̩ Disney rip off crap. But most of all you are going to have to make somebody believe that you are somehow better than the 90,000 other Arts students that graduate in this tin pot country every damn year. That means you are going to have to become research active dammit Рeven if it kills you (or me).

I am become Death, destroyer of (animated) worlds.

If I didn’t care it wouldn’t matter. But I actually care about the munchkins, and sometimes when somebody is going the wrong way, well, you just have to take a stand.

And a reminder of places that don’t really care…

6 thoughts on “Disney is killing my soul

  1. “They’ve hired a new professor this semester and he actually works at Alias,” he wrote. “In only two weeks it has become very clear that we now have someone worth our parents’ hard-earned cash.”

    That can be allowed to soak in.

    • (‘Alias’ gives away how old Colin must be by now.) If you’re going to learn 3D animation then you’d hope that the guy out front actually uses the tools, so fair enough. But these days that’s called a ‘demonstration’ and frowned upon. A ‘tutorial’ has to include theory, and the courses where you just learn a skill are being shut down. We let the munchkins have Lynda Training for all that.

      Compare to medicine. No one complains about skills there.

  2. On the very first day of my Animation degree the head of department gave us a speech about not wanting to see any fecker trying to re-make Akira, Star wars, Aladin or any other Disney and, indeed any other film as 1] you wont manage it 2] we’ve seen that shi* before so go and make yer own stuff! God love her for that!

  3. I think the key thing you’re missing in your courses is how to make sure big stylized circular ears *always* point to camera. I’m surprised just how many 3d tutorials and university courses miss this essential part of the animators tool-box.

    A 3d film is worth shit unless the ears point to camera, kids.

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