Hoarder Update

Not exactly hoarding. What do you call it when you keep throwing stuff out (which is extremely pleasurable) only to replace it with more crap (equally pleasurable)?

Updated information attached. Because I feel like it.

Witness: Kunst Kamp is moving house. Everything must be thrown out. All the accumulated shit of 20 odd years, out. There are twenty or so VHS decks, an equal number of DVD burners, amplifiers, speaker brackets, a DAT recorder … oh a DAT recorder, hang on you can’t just throw that out wait a moment I’ll take that …

what else, a pile of mixing desks, Ha! who needs to mix on a mixing desk any more, oh look it’s the one I made my first couple of albums on, would be nice if I just

I’ll put in on a chair for a moment. Now anyway, televisions, a stack of them. Rubbish, except for this cute little b/w field monitor. Broken microphones in a box. I have no idea what that is. Open reel recorders with green slime coming out the head housing no I don’t think so. A much bigger mixing desk. Hmmmm, a nice metal briefcase that looks handy, wonder what’s inside.

I never had one of these. Kind of a museum piece. Hell I can always throw it out later and anyway…

NO. Absolutely not. You are not carting that thing home when you can get a bloody Zoom recorder that does the same thing. You never even owned one. I can’t believe that you threw out an entire U-Matic suite and a pile of burners and laptops and you are going to … NO. Put it down. It’s BROKEN. I don’t know for sure but it’s bound to be BROKEN. And how are you going to carry it? NO DAMN YOU.

Back at home and the contents of my office are piled everywhere, equipment leaning against walls etc. Hmmm, that thing there takes up a lot of space. I’ll chuck that out. Don’t need two DAT machines, the DA-20 can go. Actually I don’t have any DAT tapes seeing as I dubbed them all to save space. Hmmm, wonder if I can still buy some …

Ian Andrews is a bastard and ran into my office at threw the ADAT at me. (As Acting Audio Visual Manager it his right to throw any piece of AV equipment at an academic so long as it does not cause death. I was merely maimed.) It’s been years since I’ve had any VHS tape, let alone a SVHS, so I borrowed some dusty old tape from Pauline and shoved it in the hole: ER9

God that takes me back to the good old days of USA brands like Ensoniq and Alesis and cryptic error messages like ERROR 144 REBOOT? There was no ER9 in the manual, but a look online tells me the tape is jammed. Fuck. Back home I took the lid off and inspected the mechanism which seemed OK. Found another old VHS and this one actually rewinds and fast forwards. Looks like I might be onto repairing this hunk of metal. God knows why. And have you looked online for VHS tapes? Square root of fuck all as my old man would say.

Pauline also had a couple of DAT tapes, so I whacked one in the DA40: Loading Error. Oh great. But it played sounds. This thing has been in a cupboard for a decade, so I let it heat for a couple of hours. The numbers appeared about the third try. I think this one will be all right.

So my next step was to get my Fairlight CVI and throw it at his head. (An academic is allowed to throw research equipment at AV support staff so long as Form 2380 is completed in the current financial year.) He said it keeps catching fire because of square capacitors or some gobbledegook. Apparently I have to replace them all with ‘greencaps’. This sounds like some kind of theosophical thing.

ITS A DISEASE.