A far reaching poll of both the publishers and editors of the Sydney Morning Herald has confirmed that which the paper has reported for some time: constant belligerent press coverage of the Labor prime minister has eroded his popularity.

Said one editor, “It’s hard to fathom how this mealy mouthed lying son of a bitch KRudd has lost his shine over the last few months. Just a short while ago he was extremely popular with the public, who were obviously deluded and needed to be re-educated on a daily basis.”

“As a mother of three beautiful girls I can’t wait for the Labor Party to be put in a gas chamber.”

Many of those that opposed the Emission Trading Scheme are disgusted that the bill was defeated twice in parliament. “We were resolutely opposed to this going ahead”, said one lobbyist on condition of anonymity. “So when the government decided to delay it rather than call an election we were appalled at getting exactly what we wanted. It just shows you can’t trust Bolshies”.

Also causing anger was the stimulus cheque sent out to help individuals make ends meet during the recent financial crisis. “I cannot believe the hide of that man, sending money to help us out”, fumed one citizen. “Just because Australia is in a far better position than most other countries in the world doesn’t mean this government is acting responsibly!”

Australia’s position as one of only three OECD countries to avoid recession last year has led to calls to bring back hanging and the stocks.

Much of the angst started with the failure of environment minister Peter Garrett to personally oversee all the subsidized home insulation provided last year. Tragically some houses burned when householders chose completely dodgy installation services. The opposition spokesperson for the environment said that a conservative government would come round to your house and put in the Pink Batts themselves.

Particularly grating to the public is the suggestion that multinational mining companies be taxed for ‘super’ profits during boom periods to help pay medical costs. “Hey, it’s my dream one day to become a multinational mining corporation, and this government is raining on my dream!”, fumed another citizen from the same source as the previous one.

So far the polls show the conservative opposition only slightly more popular than the government. The Sydney Morning Herald predicts that with constant opinion pieces the natural order of things will be restored, as conservative rule was cut ‘dreadfully short’ after only 12 years.


When asked for their views, the publishers at News Ltd. said they were currently “more interested in stringing up that commie nigger in the white house”.