Ellard

I write this to pretend to be balanced. But I have less questions for the so called ‘left wing’. It’s family and I know where the moles are. So I’ll use this space to question some of the bricks on which it is built – but they actually prop up all extremes of politics.

The people are invoked by every rat bag philosophy. Marx had a lot to say about the people, but so did Thoreau, Hitler and just about every applicant to rule a country anywhere. The people are always described as possessing some wisdom that come from walking barefoot on dirt – they are noble savages, you can only fool some of them some of the time. (The worst case is when white people talk about the native population of the place that they almost wiped out. Aboriginal Australians are for example psychic, can live off sand, stand on one leg for days at a time etc.) Having ridden public transport for some time I know from first hand experience that the people are one step up from the potato.

By the potato, for the potato.

That comes across as elitist. That’s because it is. I’ll say that, whereas your Marxist will hide behind a privileged standpoint – somebody on a factory floor cannot conceive of the revolution, but when advised by the Marxist, who sees the situation from the outside and yet is somehow magically inside with the worker, the revolution is inevitable. Very convenient to be on the outside, like Marx, sitting in the library while your maid Lenchen cleans your underpants. Beats being in the factory.

But Communism is an idea that I hope one day will actually be tried out. There’s been many places that have described themselves as communist but always ‘some animals are more equal than other animals‘. It’s probably not possible, there’s always a king, whether it’s Napoleon, Stalin or Kim Jong-Il. You may as well add Old King Cole and King Arthur to that list.

In Russia the king is ‘President’ or ‘Prime Minister’ depending on what year it is. In 2012 probably ‘Tzar’. (Mind you, Putin was inevitable given the abject greed and stupidity of the western advisers that buggered Yeltsin every night. The back slapping that went on when the USA outspent the USSR on military bullshit is having the inevitable reflux. Like the US paying for Bin Laden in Afghanistan – the hawks have seen their own policies rebounded tenfold.)

Thinking about hypocrisy – Marx and his maid and all that – how often it seems the left has a great idea and then abuses it – and the right has no frigging idea but a heap of moral indignation? Al Gore rails against pollution while polluting heavily himself, the opposing side decides therefore that the pollution does not exist. Score: nil all.

On the other side of things I read Bill Gates talking about how capitalism has been a wonderful thing for the world but it was time for corporations to do their bit for poverty and I wondered to whom he was talking. “Hello all tigers, now that my belly is full, I think it is time for us to stop eating meat.” When Shell Petroleum runs advertisements about their good world citizenship, or Halliburton harvests the spoils of warfare, seriously, how small the hypocrisy of the left seems.

Democracy is another hard one to pin down. I’d agree with Churchill that it’s the least worst system. Once it meant ‘what all the white farm owners agreed in a meeting’. Then they added ‘and their slaves/peasants divided by X’ so that the people farmers got more. After that, people who didn’t have farms, women, people who weren’t white, eventually leaving the pet vote as an issue. But where the white farmers could see each other in a room now it’s the people voting for candidates that might not even exist. Hell, have you actually met the people you vote for? The Lord Mayor of Sydney comes knocking on my door every now and then so I can vote for her knowing that she is the human as portrayed on electric pictures. But many politicians are no more real than Batman.

The vote goes to some confection of advertising copy and firm handshakes. Oh and the smiles, Christ, the smiles of politicians. I AM SMILING YOU CAN TRUST ME I AM NOT A SPACE LIZARD. I think that McCain is the guy out of The Dead Zone sometimes. Oftentimes.

Left Wing / Right Wing… long ago (before the Internet) I became a ordained priest in the SubGenius Church (remember them?) Upon sending my cash I was sent this picture. And really, it sums it up.