Friday is Dead God Day

I wish gods would get born or die more often because it means instant relaxation time. Jesus dies, Jesus gets born – day off work. Bring back the Greek gods and we would have much happier relaxed lives. Having said that, I realise it’s pagan, which suddenly makes me feel all wicca and emo. Dear God (pick one) haven’t we been busy inventing words over the last decade?

Well then here is an opportunity to talk garbage for a while. Dweeb garbage what’s more. You see I am having a Maddox moment – I am typing this on a machine running Vista SP1, and feeling like an ubermensch.

Surely this is not possible. After all, every week in The Register we read mail such as:

wankerI am the systems manager at large company and I tried installing Vista. It was impossible. Soap suds came spilling over the rim of the machine and every animal within exactly 4.5 metres died of radiation poisoning! Vista is sucks! It made my supercomputer slower than a C64! I am installing Ubuntu and making a joke with the word Micro$haft in it. With Ubuntu I know that my penis will be much longer. And so on.

Which leads me to suspect that systems managers aren’t what they used to be.

Actually that leads nicely into the whole topic of blog comments. Now you of course are a sensible intelligent individual, full of cooperative spirit and common sense wisdom. I suspect that you have sometimes thought of leaving a comment and then reading those that came before, decided not to besmirch yourself with their company. I’ve been trying to decide which site has the most retarded comments, but it’s quite a contest. YouTube of course is a leader in exclamation marks, but you’d expect that from anything youth, which is the euphemism these days for pig ignorant.

No, you need the extra offensiveness of people who think that they are very wise, while being… what are we allowed to call it… universe challenged. They need to be naked apart from a top hat. For a while I thought that Engadget was a winner – we can argue about preferred mobile phone forever. But I’ve been following the comments on The Register for a while and really feel that it offers up one of the lowest forms of human life: the opinionated, stupid, British computer expert.

You can predict this is going to fold into one of my pet hates – it does. I’m on about the comments whenever there is a story about pirating music or DRM.

wankerI never pay for any music and never will. All musicians are rich anyway. When labels try to protect themselves it’s an invasion of my civil rights. I downloaded all the albums by my favourite artist and made sure to upload them everywhere. That’s cause I am a fan! Artists should sell T Shirts at gigs and make their money that way. I spend 4 hours a day tagging my FLAC collection and then masturbate. And so on.

For God’s sake, is there no dignity in thieving any more? Come out and say – I am a thief. I dare you. You might even get laid.

Let’s find something useful to say now – in honour of these Robin Hoods I am placing a lot of my old albums up on, this will take time as their file management is a bit esoteric. I can’t supply those albums which are currently licensed – but there will still be quite a bit of listening. If you like an album, consider ordering a disc. There, I begged. Good musician, roll over, play dead.