Zoom Zoom

I’ve been asked to review my new ZOOM. Your wish is my command.ZOOM R24

What is it?

It’s a portable 24 track sound recorder made by ZOOM, best known for their hand held field recorders. It’s about the size of a portable typewriter and has some of the same ‘recently archaic’ / ‘I am a hipster’ vibe about it. If you know about PortaStudios you’d see this as the latest refinement. There are 8 balanced inputs fed into three banks of 8 channels, mixed down into a stereo pair. Tracks are either audio streams, or sample playback – both are really just WAV clips triggered either by time position or bar/beat. Understanding that is key to knowing what you can do.

A sensible review is here.

I have a DAW. Why would I want this?

This doesn’t replace your DAW. In fact ZOOM supply a copy of Cubase for you. Use the ZOOM running on batteries to multi track record when away from your studio, then copy to the DAW for finishing. Or plug the ZOOM into a USB port and directly record up to 8 inputs at a time. The recorder is not too expensive and having an 8 in audio interface + Mackie controller means you’re getting two uses out of it.

If you’re intending to buy some of the new breed of cheap synthesisers that are coming on the market you are going to need a way to plug them all into your DAW. Most of them are designed for real time jamming with friends and you’re not going to make nice ‘one at a time’ multi-track recordings.

My intention is different. I want to take music that I’ve made on my DAW and transfer it to the ZOOM. Now I have a 24 track recording I can perform live. This is a sexed up version of how I used to make music on an 8 track tape recorder.

Why did you buy the 24 track?

The 8 track R8 looks pretty fine too, but I figured that for the price difference I might as well triple up. I’ll likely use only 8 channels for gigs and now and then want maybe 12. The R16 is older and has less features so not worth it.

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When looking for ZOOM pictures I found this. Maybe it’s important.

How can I see what I’m doing?

You can’t. You have to listen. That’s kind of the point, because DAWs tend to work with visual information, where this is just a ‘tape recorder’. I’m not saying that’s better. It’s just different. Even though the machine is larger it still uses a screen about the same size as a H4n, and you are going to have to learn to push little buttons on a control panel.

In the recordings I have done so far I was impressed how quickly my brain and fingers went back to a tape recorder way of thinking. This is what I want to explore. If you have not used a tape recorder it may be pointless.

How might you perform on the r24?

First of all there’s the faders. You can grab them and mix.

BUT I’ve noticed that the machine has limited brain power and while you can tweak and twiddle there can be a subtle delay. So your style would need to be less than frantic.
BUT apart from the faders and mutes the controls are not physical. Panning and EQ require assignment – select track, menu, turn big knob.
BUT 8 tracks are seen at any one time. And your faders are not motorised so they have to pick up the sound level.

Then there’s the sampler. There are buttons to push under each track. Any recorded clip, any length, can be fired off by pushing the button. The sample will be triggered on the beat, which is good if you are trying to do an Ableton Live style set. I will most likely turn off global quantize so my loops can be out of time.

A simple sequencer is there to fire off your samples according to a grid. I see no way to send MIDI to the ZOOM, even just to supply a BPM clock. When connected by USB to sequencer it receives MIDI Clock. It’s designed to hand over any of that kind of fancy stuff to a DAW. There’s a hack below that means you could record time code.

How does this compare to other portable mix solutions?

It’s better than my original PortaStudio!

I looked closely at Auria + an interface for the iPad and decided against that because (a) I am resurrecting a specific technique I once used with my tape recorders and (b) 8 track balanced in to iPad ain’t cheap. Really I’d say Auria might be the better solution if you wanted a portable DAW. Especially as the mix can be automated, something the ZOOM doesn’t offer.

Samplr on the pad is a really excellent ‘tape looping’ tool and if you have a pad then you really should own it. It’s like 8 tape loops with plenty of bend and stretch – and it’s automated. About the only thing on the pad that isn’t a toy version of the real thing. I decided on the ZOOM because I already have the pad and want to have a different paradigm that mixes both looping and streaming sound.

The ZOOM weighs much less than a laptop and has the real connections. I like the idea of performing with it, but you should check out AKAI’s MPC drum boxes as an alternative. You could always add a laptop if you like.

What is the quality like?

Probably it’s not excellent but it sounds like what you put in is what you get back, which was never the case for my Fostex B16! The actual machine is pretty nice. It’s light weight but it’s solid. Like a Roland box.

Any bad points?

You are not getting a full DAW. This is not Pro Tools HD. Capice? But like any tape recorder you still have to bounce down real time.
The transport is not instant. AB looping has a gap.
Only stereo out (but see below).
No panning or EQ knobs. The effects are limited (but hey – there are effects).
No MIDI.
Some people have found that ZOOM recorders in general have a small drift and will lose synch over a long recording time. (Whereas open reel tape recorders were always perfect and I’m the president.)

Any hacks?

You can send a stereo/mono track out the headphones jack. Use that for SMPTE?

http://www.henkybacker.com/2011/10/the-hidden-output-of-the-zoom-r8-and-r24/

Walking through the biggest book.

I recently attended a lecture by Professor Lewis Lancaster in which he described his collaboration with what he calls ‘Long Data’. Best if I first quote from a 2011 paper about the process:

Blue Dots

This project integrates the Chinese Buddhist Canon, Koryo version Tripitaka Koreana, into the AVIE system. This version of the Buddhist Canon is inscribed as UNESCO World Heritage enshrined in Haeinsa, Korea. The 166,000 pages of rubbings from the wooden printing blocks constitute the oldest complete set of the corpus in print format. Divided into 1,514 individual texts, the version has a complexity that is challenging since the texts represent translations from Indic languages into Chinese over a 1000-year period (2nd-11th centuries). This is the world’s largest single corpus containing over 50 million glyphs, and it was digitized and encoded by Prof Lew Lancaster and his team in a project that started in the 70s.

OK, so a young academic who studies East Asian Languages is put in charge of documenting a 166,000 page book that’s been translated from ancient Indian to Chinese over 1000 years. The biggest book, the oldest copy. For the first 6 or so years he reads it. Reaching some kind of crisis as I think you would, he decides that reading it was not going to get anywhere. So he talks to Samsung and they help him digitise it. He feeds it into a computer and adds metadata behind each glyph (where it sits on what page and so on).

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So now you have 50,000,000+ glyphs stored in memory. (Which reminds me a bit of the 9 Billion Names of God). What do you do with that? At this point I was a little cross with taking a text and chopping it up into ‘Big Data’ cubes, but he seemed to be an honest prof so I waited for the explanation.

He had the computer make all the glyphs blue, and the one glyph, one word, he made red wherever it appears. So he can see patterns. He can ‘feel it’. He picks another word, feels how they are ranged closely, or far apart, intuits a problem. He asks the computer to plot a graph of how often those words appear together over the 1000 years of transcription. There are peaks as new words are developed and then discarded. There’s two peaks that seem oddly similar, but 200 years apart. The computer has found that pages have been accidentally jumbled up about 500 years ago.

The AVIE is the 3D environment built first at Kunst Kamp, now with a bigger version over at City University of Hong Kong. The Blue Dots were fed into the system so that Lancaster could walk through the book, touch any dot and read the glyph right there.

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It is charming, and rather like a short story by Borges. But similarly it’s like the infamous German Video Artist who when asked about his work said ‘It is 4 minutes long and in colour’. The computer has seen the book as a whole, it has not seen what the book says. I think that when Lancaster sadly dies the computer will fall mute. It’s a jotting, the structure is in the brain of the man who knows which way to walk and touch.

There is a monk in Korea I am sure that can walk through the actual plates that hold the book and see it – just like Lancaster sees it now. He doesn’t know that the pages are mixed up. He might not really care.

There were other examples and discussion but one part really got me thinking – about Obama’s first presidential speech and how it was seen as far more effective than his second, and how a computer analysis found that in it he employed a rising repetition; a circle of introduction, point, point, point, re-phrase, affirm, affirm, affirm, summarise. This circle apparently can be found in The Book as well.

When Lancaster asked the audience how else could the data be visualised, it was immediately obvious to me that (a) Obama was using church sermon patterns that (b) you would also expect in a religious text and (c) are found also in the epic poems of antiquity because (d) it is easier to memorise text if it is sung because (e) the part of the brain that handles music is a long term storage processor. Which is why we teach children with songs. Do Re Mi.

That is, you can sing songs you heard and recited years ago, and will until you die because that how the brain lays down text for long term storage – connected with tonal ‘meta data’. Even the profoundly senile can sing a song. Music soothes the savage breast but it also parses language and dare I say, the kind of vague and intuitive information that ‘Big Data’ is supposed to offer.

I stuck up my hand and asked – wouldn’t it be better to sonify the data? Because music recognition is a powerful pattern recognition system? He kind of looked like I’d said rubber baby buggy bumpers. It’s a hunch, prof, it’s just a long shot, that bird songs and big data have more in common that you think. People used to track game and find water and know when winter was coming because of nothing in particular but everything at once. Maybe that’s what brains do that computers can’t.

Before the Dean got too anxious I told an anecdote about Silliac and LeapFrog, which made it all about computers again, which made it alright.

But I still got that hunch.

 

Down with this sort of thing.

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Pause a moment: It’s a magazine that’s apparently been missing in a warehouse since 1985. On an iPad. OMD is on the cover.

OK, alright, fine. I’ve had my say but the consensus is we all want to go backwards 25 years. Everything since then was a horrible mistake and time to stock up on vinyl and Moogs. I remember some great things that happened over those years, but hey, it’s your party.

And frankly you might be right. Because what else is on offer?

Hear me out – it gets somewhere. My current teaching is in screen and sound production. I just did the lecture about three act structure, Syd Fields’ Paradigm and so on, critiqued the first shot of their documentary as encapsulating the arc of the narrative blah blah. When the kids look me up online to find out what films I made they find a computer game, some ‘video art’ and a bunch of old records. What? Where the hell are my three acts? Rotten old structuralist wanker.

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Last night I was guilting on Derivative Touch. I own the damn thing, and every few weeks get the time to yet again practice Networking my TOPs and CHOPs with a few SOPs here and there to get my rotating doughnut on. Touch is more arcane than the Catholic Church and I attend it driven by the equivalent moral panic. After confession I feel a great sense of accomplishment making my doughnut wiggle. Then the inevitable question – how does this express anything? I can project on a building – how does this express anything? I can track people’s movement – how does this express anything? That’s what makes it so unfulfilling to learn New Media tools (yes, let’s cut the crap – New Media is back out of the coffin) because they exist in an artistic void. No one ever cried over a MaxMSP patch. The tools prefer to exist in that moral void – like scientists working on the atom bomb. You can do things.

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I just bought VENTUZ, which is a live video system for broadcast and kiosks. Other users include FOX Television, NFL, Microsoft. It’s not without a learning curve but it avoids fuss and bother. I can get the doughnut in VENTUZ in a few minutes, because it doesn’t ‘award exploration’ or ‘open ways of working’ instead getting you to a result. The difficulty, the self flagellation, the athletics of New Media are minimised. Straight away you get to the result. And the result is the problem.

Here’s my dilemma. I’m charged with guiding and developing audiovisual coursework for the coming years and I really fucking care about it. It’s been put to me that ‘film’ and its equivalents are no longer the business of a university, music gets handled elsewhere, that ‘electronic media arts’ and the ‘creative industry’ are on the rise. We have ISEA coming up and reading through the programme I find this:

Participants will intellectually and tangibly explore the possible roles that visualisation can play in imagining the future, using this exploration to reflect critically on existing visualisation practices. By adopting emotive approaches, the hope is to elicit new insights into design practices in data visualisation that challenge present representation forms. Participants will use paper prototyping techniques to develop descriptions of personal utopias. These descriptions will be examined in group exercises to mine them for ‘data stories’ – imaginary data sets which exemplify or illustrate their particular utopia. By sketching visualisations for such data sets, we will discuss the language, aims and claims of visualisation processes.

Which I concede is a harsh example. Allow me to wonder aloud at ‘adopting emotive approaches’. Is that like feeling something and acting on it? Who out there wants to tell a ‘data story’? Silly old ‘film’ used to offer personal stories and emotions and I think we’ve again confused process athletics for results. The really weird thing is alongside the obsession with process, there’s anxiety about skills. ‘Participants will use paper prototyping techniques’. Does that seem kind of ‘with one hand tied behind your back’ to you? New Media was rightly faulted for being fetishistic about technology – one definition was that it was anything computer based. At the turn of the century the word ‘digital’ was plunked in front of all and sundry – we slavishly avoid it now, to the extent of ‘paper prototyping’. But the techniques are still there and the highlight work of the festival is 100 percent digital technology – probably made in Derivative Touch. Obsessing over something is bad, whether positively or negatively.

I seem to find myself not too different from the subscribers to Electronic Sound, but I have a lot more hope.

I made a computer game for all kinds of reasons but one of them was to tell a story in much the way my old songs tell stories. I actually don’t care much for three act structure, but I care for characters, personalities, archetypes if you follow that idea. My game had a story about two women; a young ‘project manager’ that strays into weapons manufacture, the other a kind of genie, a spirit that is ‘farmed’ by the other and takes revenge. The story is never made as clear as that, because it’s an opportunity. This is the great power of computer games, to offer a narrative when it suits the player, more like a book than a film.

There are some games in ISEA. None of them have an implied narrative, as far as I can see they’re all variants of geocaching which is studiously and frigidly level design only. What is so distasteful about games?

Look at the main artwork.

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Monumental and architectural, on a scale grander than the human ‘participants’ who are seen like those cut-out people used by architects to flesh out a building design. Constrained, avoiding any display of passion. Driven by data, unlike abstract art which is a distilled act of personal will. ‘Big data’ – the blurring of personalities into a ‘cloud’. The negation of personality.

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Here is Ikeda’s more recent work. The description quietly notes that ‘performers will appear in his piece for the first time’. They are silhouettes but it looks like at least one member of the New Media dares to bring a human back into their data visualisation. Who knows, one day they might even allow a face telling a story. We grow up.

So there’s a clue where to go next. Sure, let’s move away from the rails and the acts and all that linear lineage. The beginning, middle and end don’t matter any more. Syd Field is a patch around old rules, we can throw those rules out. But let’s continue to keep the human scale of film. Let’s not require conflict as the engine of a narrative, cooperation is harder but we can do it. We should allow passion to make a mess. We should not fall into neoclassicism, all white marble and tasteful curves.

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We can say the word ‘digital’, it won’t kill you. Hell ‘data’ is just a cousin.

But at the heart of it is: art is not sport, not athletics. Just because the public purse is often shared between these goals, there is no need to make art festivals into sports carnivals.

OK. Maybe I know what to do…

It’s raining synthesisers

Here in the year of our lord 2013 it’s raining 80s synthesisers. Yes yes I know that the boutique manufacturers have been on the rise for years – but I pay no attention to stuff that costs as much as a small car by the time it hits Australia. I’m sure a Prophet 12 is lovely, along with Porsches and Faberge Eggs, things that exist off in a parallel universe. I am cheap, I have always been cheap and the vast majority of everything I have ever owned was bought in hock shops. Mostly MS20′s.

The majors have joined what the boutiques have started. Bless KORG and all who sail in her for coming up with cheap replicas of the trash I used to use in 1982, and I mean hot damn, REPLICAS – although they have missed out on the Casiotone, something that Casio will no doubt rectify in 2014 with the VLtone 3000. Look at my 1982 studio – there you would have found a SH1, 303, 808, the Casiotone and … something that for a moment questions the whole retro thing. A tape recorder. Because implicit in all this gear is recording it, rewinding, overdubbing, punching in … you know? These devices were designed to go with a tape recorder and without it they make no sense. What we have here is the knife – missing is the fork.

You can’t have all this analogue gadgetry and feed it into Pro Tools. How rude!
I am a reasonable man so how about this compromise:

RB

And it stays on the right side of ‘my fingers don’t fit on that’ – where I win by having world’s smallest fingers.

The KORG Avakados (or whatever they are kalled) don’t sound very interesting. But I detect a faint hint of whoopsy daisy in there – there might be ways to cause trouble. When I bought my 303 (for $400 in 1982 money) I was horribly disappointed just how shit it sounded, because up to that point everything Roland had been versatile and subtle. The fartbox had the expressive range of a jaws harp and it took too much trouble to get something decent out of it - only in retrospect do I realise I should have shown it creative disrespect. I have a lot of creative disrespect these days.

Actually the oddest thing about this line of KORGlets is how they are inching their way towards the RADIAS:korg_radias_angle_open_lg

Seriously – look at it. It’s like the emperor Dalek with the new toys as little Daleks around it. They will re-issue it (Wish I could have afforded it when it came out).

KORG are always a source of good times, but I’m sorry Novation is fast becoming my sonic Walmart. That Bass Station 2 looks just the stinky cheese for my next retail therapy. For a start it looks like yet another Novation thing where all kinds of unexpected stuff ups are possible – even CDM figured that out. On my MiniNova I have found you can make the wavetable LFOs fast enough to modulate the oscillators to create horrible EMS AKS style frenzies. Novation gear is like the old playground where you could brain yourself falling off a rocket.

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There’s probably still somebody out there butthurt about how I was mean to the MS20 – how can I then say I like the Bass Station? Because I want to find all the cracks in something new, not tick off all the ones I already know from 1983.

Runners up. Waldorf has new thing actually called a Rocket, it doesn’t seem much fun to climb, being what psychiatrists call ‘overdetermined’. There’s a Nord something or other that looks like other Nord something or others. We’re already drifting out of my junk shop aesthetic.

Roland? What ever happened to Roland?

Hooray – we just reached 2000 spam comments!

Edubigots

Forgive me for being fed up.

The next person that says to me “you don’t need to teach media production, people can find tutorials on the Internet” is getting an earful. Yes there are tutorials online for Photoshop. Great. There are tutorials online about painting. About taxation. About management. Let’s stop running the MBA because you can find tutorials on the bloody internet.

Oh, wait, suddenly there’s a big difference? Thanks, now I have the real point out in the open where we can all see it – there is a demarcation here. When I pick up a pen and I write, the physical skill of writing is not to be taught, only the organisation of thoughts on the page. That is clear. But when I pick up a paintbrush the barrier is murky – the skill of the brush is entwined with the message being created. This may be taught, and it is expected that your whole life may be needed to master this. For some reason the universities seem to have decided that the skills in media production are those of the pen and not of the brush, and they are dead wrong.

It involves an ignorance of the modalities involved. I’ll start with a simple example. I have heard that people ‘use a computer too much’. The user might be researching, designing objects, reading texts, writing a journal, collating data, socialising, politicising, or maybe putting together a presentation for the next university executive meeting – that’s all ‘using a computer’. It’s obviously ignorant to bundle tasks by their machinery.

The same ignorance applies when people talk about say photoshopping. Everything you do in television, in print, in object design, across photography, forensics, data visualisation and so on it’s apparently all just a single skill that can be completed before university. Again and again I hear that because PhotoShop is now taught in high school, we can safely assume that there’s no need to continue it any further. The proponents forget that we also teach painting in high school. Does that get dropped as well?

If painting is just putting paint on a canvas and writing is just making marks with a pen then sure, anyone with a mobile phone can make a movie. Sound recording is just pointing a microphone at something. Somehow the first two are ridiculous and the latter two not. Why?

Part of the distaste for media production comes from industry standards – do we really have to teach Pro Tools? Surely Audacity is enough to get the idea, and the idea is what matters? I’m no more in love with Pro Tools than PhotoShop but I am far more interested in my students having employable skills than the tastes of the didacts. Especially as they will go out for industry experience and be found unable to complete simple tasks. What do we want for students? Can they all be researchers – every one of them? Do we impose some political ideal about open source and creative economies on them all?

Universities then end up with postgraduate students who are illiterate in the tools needed to complete a production thesis. I personally have had to assist MFA and PhD students with the kind of tasks that are, apparently, taught by internet tutorials.

My major point here is about literacy. The people that are keen on these restrictions have an extremely narrow idea of what literacy is in 2013. They use words and numbers, they understand that a rubric on a page builds clarity that leads to better management. But a page is not the only place where a recording inspires thought. Let me teach the tools that make these recordings and I will make sure that the concepts will be covered as well. That’s my job.

I have to bring up another ugly subject. I didn’t learn any of my skills at a university and I think that’s common. People work in industry and then come to teach. Hell, I learned how to lecture by doing gigs. Students often report that they too only really start to learn once they found a position. Shouldn’t we be worried about that, study what happens after people leave, and make that the issue? Instead we keep pumping more research into the mix, as if that’s all we have left to offer.

I’m going to make a bunch of YouTube tutorials about research practices. Then we’ll all have nothing left to teach.

How Now?

It’s Easter! According to plan the ABC will soon bump out the game and the snot video to make way for others, and rightly so. The Australian Screen and Sound Archive will then archive it all, as well as sevcom.com – which I find I little disturbing as it makes the same sound as a coffin lid being nailed shut. From the inside.

I don’t know how that will work, it’s not like archive.org which does a small snapshot – they will acquire the whole thing, as it stands, and are unlikely to revisit it. This might be for the best as it forces an end point. I do like to improve and tinker :-(

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Then Paul Greedy and myself are working on a new model of Clavilux. This device belongs to Thomas Wilfred, and full credit to him. There is however scope to build some new bits into it – we intend to keep everything that is better analogue and revise everything that is best done by computer. I am very aware that Wilfred was a Theosophist and the machine will follow the visual music as set out by his religious beliefs. The device will be on display as part of ISEA.

I’m personally amused the initial brief was for the ‘old artist’ (me) to guide the ‘young artist’ (Paul) in ye olde art techniques. As it is, Paul is much better at analogue design and I am more interested in the software. To the extent that I’m building a software version as well (or at least trying). It also (thank the gods) aligns with my much neglected doctorate.

Coming up soon an exhibition of music paintings – I have made a Ralph Balson as music, and a video to go with it. Can’t show you that until the show is run. If you are in Penrith then:

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Visual artists love the word NOISE for some reason. I guess they fear the fighting that goes with MUSIC.

Maybe after these are done I can get a bit of a break. The day job is howling for attention.

But actually, well, I’ve been thinking about HH. You see, I’m not disappointed but I have to admit that the alternative worlds presented by that game were a bit too geometrical. A game built in 3D software has rigidity, it stands up and makes sense. You can render absurdity, but (at least I) can’t quite manage that in real time modelling. When trying to get HH made one theory was to use panoramic photography, and I think that is still the best way to create a more exotic realm, with music.

The music is attached to the photographs and so it’s not mobile or interactive unless I find a way to combine photography and 3D. That is the current research screwing around which I will henceforth call H3. Yep, another game. In the meantime an update on HH is underway.

David Bowie

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Every time I glance at the cover of The Next Day, a sense of relief and happiness descends on me. I am found, and set square on the earth. I know where I am, where we all are.

Always ready to be wrong, always uncertain and apologetic for my stupidity and then – proof falls out of the sky unasked. You believe in UFOs – a UFO lands in New York. You believe in Reptilian Overlords and the Queen’s mask falls off. Or like me you suspect that insipid nostalgia has become pandemic and a Bowie record comes out with artwork from THIRTY SIX YEARS AGO with a stupid white box slapped over it.

Why didn’t they use Comic Sans? If you are going to announce that you have truly given up and have absolutely nothing left to offer, at least give it that friendly, happy look. A clip art of a puppy and some balloons maybe? Because at the moment there’s a slight protest that the white box is in some way stylish, that it aspires to some artistry. The sad ass who ‘designed’ this has landed on something as default as Myriad Fucking Pro. Ineffectually ‘professional’. Gutless. A tepid little mnemonic of risk. Give me HOBO or death.

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Look at the font on the original sleeve. It’s ugly, gloriously, proudly fuck you seventies ugly. They have crossed it out, but even then in a timid little scratch.

Where is the humour, the ribaldry? It’s a twee little titter of a thing that dares not rise above a ‘reference’ to become a fully grown mock.

I love this album art as an honest appraisal of our artistic landscape in 2013. A time where so many touch screens, tweets, arduino boards and clouds all conspire to squeeze out a mealy little fart. A time when we desperately cling to the old revolutionaries even when they became reactionary swine. When Bowie and Kraftwerk and Joy Division are the names we have to work with – long after they were left out of the fridge.

I was apologetic for continuing to exist, but I realise that what we need is so much of this limp filth that that the audience rises up and strangles us. Bring it on.

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The Gig Review: A triumph of snot.

This is the live show review. From the inside.

The nice photographer for The Guardian told me to smile, and to stop frowning. I wanted to tell her – listen - I am a portly bottle of snot, ringing ears and fever and every fucking muscle in my shitty old body is howling right now so fuck off. Instead I said ‘nikon nikon nikon’ for her. I have seen the photo. I look like I want to crawl into a corner and die.

The first week at a university students fly in from all around the world, carrying microbes that they have overcome. But for me there was a sudden Atom™ bomb of disease. On top of weeks of worry over [H.H] a collapse was inevitable. But the timing wasn’t pretty.

An hour before the gig every cough made my abdomen wince with pain. Time came to hurt my voice so I could hit the high notes; this involves holding each note until the pain gives up. I have done it before but I will not do it again.

I think that the majority of the gig is OK. I haven’t seen the footage, don’t ever want to. Photographing us using our equipment is filming the hands in a puppet show. The last time the ABC asked (“Studio 22″) we fought over it until it got cancelled. I tried to be jolly – although maybe repeating HAPPY! HAPPY! HAPPY! at the front of Petrol was more manic than jolly.

There’s one event that sums up the minority. Right in the middle of Hot With Fleas, I’m pleased that I can hit (as much as I ever hit) the notes, even if it’s a bit painful. Suddenly I think my nose is bleeding. I play a sample, it’s too loud. Time stops. For about 3-4 seconds I flat line – I have no idea of anything at all. I ask Stewart what line is supposed to come next, and he shouts it out. Time lurches back into the right BPM, I sing, I tell a joke. I’m completely fucking unnerved.

After the gig David Sefton was telling me that it was fine, that the human element was a blessing with everything else so rigidly clocked up in music these days, that the audience was incredibly happy and all that. I am not easily consoled, but if you were going to trust an audience opinion I’d say he’d be the one. The Guardian was also very kind I think. And it was probably only as rusty as the Sydney Festival gig. Still, I’m not happy about this being the basis of a recording, actually I understand better than ever before why live shows should stay live shows.

This really does feel like ‘no way am I ever doing that again’.

People I like asked me to go on Twitter. As I get older, people I like become more important than any small position I might hold. Because I’d already been on Twitter years ago my own name was taken (sorry to the other Tom Ellards) – I am @t0m3llArd

Not with a wang but a bumper.

[H.H] DIES IN A FEW DAYS – LAST CHANCE

A couple of days to go and SH’s exit is looking as chaotic as its birth. Behind the curtain all kinds of things are breaking and people falling on their arses. Do I care? Strangely not as much as I did a week ago, which is a good thing.

Let’s have a wake. I’ve got a beer!

BEST SEVERED HEADS SONGS IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER or
YOU’RE SO VAIN YOU PROBABLY THINK THIS LOOP WAS ABOUT YOU or
SQUEEZING PIMPLES IN THE MIRROR.

1. This Track Doesn’t Exist on Ear Bitten.
Listen, you can hear the crickets outside my bedroom window. It is winter, evening, 1979, I am 16. Richard and I are making tape loops – this one was Richard’s. We decided later that it should loop forever and it did on the original record, as did the crickets.

2. Inch Urch on Mysterious Kitchens.
Tapping away on my Kawai Synthi 100F and a Mini-Pops Junior. Onto a cassette and then play that onto another cassette back and forward. I was learning how to make multiple lines of music on a monophonic synthesiser and it somehow worked. It sounded just like Martin Rev who was a real musician.

3.Tiny Fingers on Clean.
I have a terrible ability to recall words magically only to figure out where they came from too late. Wet Taxis had a song called 1000 Tiny Fingers. This starts with toy piano through my Melos Tape Echo, then cuts to some Arabic radio on a tape loop, a single bass melody on the 100F and a treated voice. And it’s creepy and pretty and how I wish everything I did was that.

4. Deano’s Couch on BlubberKnife.
An old friend from high school dropped in to see me just as we were recording Bradbury’s huge disgusting belch through echo. The guy never visited again.

5. Anthem 82 on Eighties Cheesecake.
A drum machine, a bass, a bunch of vocal tapeloops and so damn optimistic about the coming decade and the culture that seemed to be blooming.

6. A Million Angels on Since The Accident.
I’ve heard this too many times to enjoy it, but you have to respect how some shitty old religious records, some Korgs and a lead guitar came together so perfectly, with the scratching of the Beatles Hold Me Tight as the icing.

7. 4WD from City Slab Horror.
There’s all kinds of moments all over this record which are simultaneously great and stunted. If I picked Explosive New Movie I’d have to mention the shitty lyrics. I think 4WD is my pick, because it was a love song written for somebody who knew it, and that’s Escape From Nerdland.

8. Petrol on Stretcher.
Petrol had been on Blubberknife, but when I did it again in 1985 somehow it just flowed into a pop song that I can always proud about. Pop music should seem effortless. Here it was.

9. Harold And Cindy Hospital on Come Visit the Big Bigot.
Another remake. I remake everything 1000 times, but this was the time you heard it. It is creepy and pretty and the lyrics are deranged and dammit why can’t every song be like that. Romper stomper disco.

10. Nature 10 from Bad Mood Guy.
This wasn’t on the original album because I’d already donated it to a Nettwerk compilation where it got squished up against the inner groove. It was recorded after the shitty world tour, losing my relationship and not feeling the happiest. The confection of captured radio and piano was better than anything that ended up on the LP and I was glad to bring it back much later. A Nature 10 is a customs declaration.

11. Midget Sings on Rotund For Success.
It was useless until I played it at the wrong speed, then it became the song of escaped circus midget. Even though I sang before I sped it up, it fits this resultant accident. This has my favourite chorus of all the songs I wrote.

12. King of The Sea from Cuisine.
The last moments of a drowning man who is for some reason broadcasting his transformation from sailor to bloated royal corpse. I can see this one in my mind, but I can’t make the image right. If you have ever found a dead thing in water, this is it. Cuisine was generally not understood – it’s filled with death at every turn, as is the best Country music.

13. Somewhere over the Gigapus from Gigapus.
A tape of somebody demonstrating a home organ by playing Somewhere Over The Rainbow becomes by cutting and sampling the basis of a sad little song about people coming and going on airplanes. Boats and aircraft by this stage being overwhelmingly symbolic in all the songs and god knows why. The dreamer is for some reason the same person as the King of the Sea, again I don’t know why.

14. Bookburner from Haul Ass.
Oscar Wilde meets the Predator. Oscar wins by mixing heroin into the Predator’s gin and tonic. One of a long series of songs about drug addiction (Oscar’s Grind, The Soundtrack of Fold, Junkhead Spins, Host of Quadrille) that is to say the addictions of everyone around me. I don’t have the body type, but for some reason addicts are moths to my candle.

15. Russia from Op1 and Op2.
I wrote this in the USA. The sides of the highways in the USA can seem very rural to highly urbanised Australians and a little like Russian patriotic posters. At this time the ex soviets were enjoying their decade long adoption of mass marketing. I wanted the voice to sound like a call from a minaret. McMinaret. Come to shop, we are all beautiful.

16. Lo Real from Under Gail Succubus.
A small girl at the kitchen table, strange lights in the sky. The parents, smiling, inert, keeping up a routine but a red glow is thrown across the table like a river of blood and pulling open the door she sees the cloud rising that sweeps in, drowning the whole scene in fire. Also a line of cosmetics.

Teaching Sound Again. Nooooooooo o o o o o o o o…

MORE ME. YOU JUST CAN’T GET ENOUGH ME.

[H.H] bug fix sent to ABC – fixes Space Bar freeze.

It’s been years. Hell … 2008 I think was the last time I had to draw a picture of a sine wave. Making music and teaching it are two worlds. Once you can ride a bicycle it’s near impossible to explain it.

The new Bachelor of Media Arts is running this year and with it the new order of ‘sound first, image second’. Theory being one thing and practice another I’m down as one of my tutors to see first hand if teaching goes well. I’ve spent 5 years being the ‘video lecturer’ – a fantastic piece of acting that I have come to believe. My mind craves a camera to hide behind.

With sonic pedagogy comes Pro Tools. Fucking Pro Tools. It’s like moving back in with your abusive parents. In the very first session I got an error that Xpand2 had exceeded the memory allocated for the DAE or some other cryptic garbage about how DigiDesign’s reptile brain had been overwhelmed. Being previously abused I instinctively went to the DUC* to find what I expected to see – it’s all your fault, reinstall everything. The last time I installed Pro Tools was version 8 and none of the instrument patches installed properly. It’s years later, installing version 10. None of the instrument patches installed properly, people screaming. Pro Tools is a disease.

* DigiDesign Users Crying

 

I started to write a bit of sound tutorial here last time I was teaching audio. Thing is (a) there’s already heaps of them and (b) I’m really into wavetables and transwaves these days and analogue synthesisers are boring for me. I want a FIZMO, a FIZMO dammit.

fizmorack

One of the most hated synthesisers of all time, particularly by analogue purists – which doubles its value to me. There are so few of these racks in existence that you couldn’t start Stewart’s band with them. I have a ESQ-M which is one of the few hardware synthesisers I have kept. I had Waveboy on my ASR-10 back in the day (which has now passed on to Bradbury). I need a FIZMO to complete the set.

PPG is all very well, but the waveforms on that are so sensible. I have complete faith in Ensoniq to have chosen the most crank sounds you could ever morph between. Hell, if somebody wants to make an old man happy, I just need the wave data so I can make up a virtual FIZMO.

Meanwhile Image Line’s Morphine is pretty good for Fizmositising and I am interested to hear about any others you might like.

IL_morphine

For thems that don’t know – the wavetable idea is that you create a snapshot of the waveform at one point, then another later on, then another and so on. Morph between them to create a quite intricate and evolving soundscape. It’s hard to be subtle unless you know what a natural wave would do over time – mostly lose harmonics and become softer. If you are too wild with the overtones you get a lot of shrill additive bell ringing. Somewhere between are some very lovely sounds.

The ESQ-M has fixed waveforms, you can only cross fade the oscillators to get sounds like the intro to that old track Dollarex. Transwaves are 128 related wave cycles as best I remember. The PPG had 256 fixed intermediate waves in 64 sets. Korg’s WaveStation has wave sequences which seem to be something more like a drum machine, firing off sounds in a pattern.

The MiniNova has a bunch of additive waveforms set up in groups of 9, you can morph between these but they’re not labelled or explained very well so it’s a bit hit and miss. Can’t imagine why you’d go to that trouble and then not label anything. (Answer – you’re Novation).

But transwaves are not the kind of thing for an intro course, so best I get back to finding out why the DAE has a -1111 error.